Happy New Year, Another One Bites The Dust

Well chemotherapy session two is over and out, thank goodness and that means I am one third of the way through this whole chemo mess and one step closer to getting on with my life and all fingers crossed living cancer free. I still have good days, bad days, meltdowns, and happiness my emotions can be a little all over the place. For instance tonight I was feeling semi-ok being day five of my chemo cycle so I was excited to have a nice bubble bath and watch the DVD 'Despicable Me' with my gorgeous boys. Well the video store was all out and its not available for purchase until tomorrow. I had a mini-meltdown and felt like the world was against me yet again but I soon got over it had a bath with a gossip mag and reclaimed my evening. I guess my point is the simplest things can be over upsetting and I can feel irrational and upset over something that would not normally upset me. Welcome to life with cancer I guess, but that being said I have good days where I feel ready to reclaim my place on the 'healthy' side of life where the little things cannot get me down.  I will get over all of this and I will be fine, I will beat this. I will beat this because I know I am a strong woman and I will not let it beat me. I will not fail if I have a few less than 'positive' days that people like to push on me, I am entitled to have a bad day, a cry and a complain here and there because this situation really sucks. One thing I do get is one life experience that will most definitely make me stronger, more aware of my body and grateful. I will always be grateful for the treatment that has been such a nightmare because it will in the end save my life.

So this nightmare treatment was bad for the last few days, but in all honesty now I have gotten to day five I am feeling a bit better (except for the exceptionally irritating reflux) and it doesn't seem that bad. While its bad, its the worst and I feel like I can't do it again but then I get to a day like today and I know I can make it through yet another cycle of chemotherapy. I am not out of the woods of the chemo cycle yet and I could be horribly sick tomorrow but I think I am coping rather well. My husband is being exceptional and really stepping up to the plate. I get all the rest I need and he will get me anything I ask him for. He has been so fantastic and I appreciate how much he is helping me through this ordeal by just letting me recover when I need it and never pushing me to over exceed myself. Thanks Honey!

Side effect wise I had the normal nausea, tiredness, and general feeling of unwell. Last night was my worst night because I couldn't get to sleep, woke constantly with nausea, and reflux and discomfort I hope tonight is better. I haven't had the bad aches and pains like last time which is nice, I have only needed pain relief once. I have taken bucket loads of anti-nauseant medication though, which is to be expected. With all the medication I have had only 1 day of bad nausea where I felt as though I had a few too many cocktails the night before, unfortunately for me not a cocktail in sight.  I have also started to get as sore throat and some aches in my ears but I had that last time and I am on the mandatory anti-biotics so hopefully I don't end up neutropenic and in hospital like last time but I am confident I won't.

I am also doing a very in depth journal through this chemo cycle. I am documenting everything I do, eat, every nap, and side effect. I am hoping that the chemo effect diary will help me know what side effects to expect and when and also what I did to ease the side effects, what helped and what didn't. I am also finding it therapeutic to have an outlet to jot everything down.

So that's where I am at now, thank you for following along. I can assure everyone I am ok, and I will get through this. Thank you for the support, I really appreciate everyone being there for me and checking to see how I am doing.

Oh and before I forget:

Happy New Year!!!

My proud as punch moment: I had chemo on New Years Eve and I actually managed to go out to dinner with my Family, take the kids out for ice cream and fireworks and I stayed up for my midnight kiss! Is that amazing or what! I cannot believe I did it! I never knew I had it in me! So much for my preconceived notion of what a chemo patient was like!

I wish you all a Happy New Year, with many blessings!