Reached The Halfway Point

This post was typed on January 27th...I just never had a chance to post :)

Well everyone I have had my 3rd Chemo and I am halfway through!! I am so happy to finally reach the halfway mark, I feel like I can see light at the end of the tunnel. It has been a long time coming and it finally feels like I can get through this. After I finish chemo I just need to do 6 weeks of radiation and I am finished.

The only thing I am struggling with is an approved exercise regime.  I know they say to exercise I just don't know when its overdoing it so yesterday I got a referral to an exercise physiologist who specializes with chemo patients. I am looking forward to seeing what she recommends. I got referred by the lovely ladies at the cancer council.

 I also bought a bicycle and a kiddie trailer so I can ride with my boys for a bit of exercise on my two good weeks. Chemo only really seems to knock me about for a week and then I have 2 good, albeit tired weeks. I am hoping between Pilate's and bike riding I can get rid of the 5kg I have put on in the 3 and a bit months since diagnosis. Two of my main drugs Taxotere and Zoladex have the primary symptom of weight gain and water retention so between that and some naughty snacking its all working against me. Hopefully I can overcome it all and kick some of the weight to the curb. Fingers crossed.

Well wish me luck for my last 3 chemo's and kicking this weight gain into submission!

I Am Feeling Fantastic!

Well everyone I am feeling AWESOME with a capital A. I have started exercising again and getting back to eating a more modest diet after indulging a little too much for Christmas. I am cooking great healthy food again and I just feel fantastic. I get tired by lunch time and need a nap but other than that, and a lack of hair I feel like myself! I am having a really good day today. Yesterday I went and bought a bike and a Kiddie trailer (Courtesy of the fundraiser money; thanks girls!) so I can still get some great exercise while my husband is at work during the week. It also makes a great family activity, so it is magnificent.

Yesterday I tried out my new bike and ended up doing around 4km. It didn't really challenge me much but in an effort not to overdo it I decided not to push it. I woke up this morning feeling pretty good and I wasn't sore so today I managed 7km, which I think is rather impressive considering I only did chemo 9 days ago. I am going to aim for 7-10km everyday (except the few days I am sick following chemo). I really want to keep my body in shape and keep some of those endorphins I have been missing so much. I really think exercise is what I have been lacking and why I have been a bit down up until now. Sure I have an excuse to be down but why use it? I would rather look good, and feel even better by challenging myself and keeping active!

I also got a referral to an exercise physiologist so I can have a proper program to follow so I can achieve my fitness goals, while not overdoing it. The physiologist I got referred to is revered by the cancer council and she specializes in helping chemo patients. I am so excited to start!

I am also cooking again, something that is a true love of mine. I made Portuguese chicken with stuffed roasted capsicum, hasselbeck potato's and roasted herb zucchini. I am going to focus on trying many new recipes that are healthy and taste great. I really need some good vegetable recipes because steamed vegetables are getting old really fast. I also made some healthy blueberry oat muffins for a play date I am going on with a good friend. Between cooking, baking and exercise I have found my happy place!

Happy New Year, Another One Bites The Dust

Well chemotherapy session two is over and out, thank goodness and that means I am one third of the way through this whole chemo mess and one step closer to getting on with my life and all fingers crossed living cancer free. I still have good days, bad days, meltdowns, and happiness my emotions can be a little all over the place. For instance tonight I was feeling semi-ok being day five of my chemo cycle so I was excited to have a nice bubble bath and watch the DVD 'Despicable Me' with my gorgeous boys. Well the video store was all out and its not available for purchase until tomorrow. I had a mini-meltdown and felt like the world was against me yet again but I soon got over it had a bath with a gossip mag and reclaimed my evening. I guess my point is the simplest things can be over upsetting and I can feel irrational and upset over something that would not normally upset me. Welcome to life with cancer I guess, but that being said I have good days where I feel ready to reclaim my place on the 'healthy' side of life where the little things cannot get me down.  I will get over all of this and I will be fine, I will beat this. I will beat this because I know I am a strong woman and I will not let it beat me. I will not fail if I have a few less than 'positive' days that people like to push on me, I am entitled to have a bad day, a cry and a complain here and there because this situation really sucks. One thing I do get is one life experience that will most definitely make me stronger, more aware of my body and grateful. I will always be grateful for the treatment that has been such a nightmare because it will in the end save my life.

So this nightmare treatment was bad for the last few days, but in all honesty now I have gotten to day five I am feeling a bit better (except for the exceptionally irritating reflux) and it doesn't seem that bad. While its bad, its the worst and I feel like I can't do it again but then I get to a day like today and I know I can make it through yet another cycle of chemotherapy. I am not out of the woods of the chemo cycle yet and I could be horribly sick tomorrow but I think I am coping rather well. My husband is being exceptional and really stepping up to the plate. I get all the rest I need and he will get me anything I ask him for. He has been so fantastic and I appreciate how much he is helping me through this ordeal by just letting me recover when I need it and never pushing me to over exceed myself. Thanks Honey!

Side effect wise I had the normal nausea, tiredness, and general feeling of unwell. Last night was my worst night because I couldn't get to sleep, woke constantly with nausea, and reflux and discomfort I hope tonight is better. I haven't had the bad aches and pains like last time which is nice, I have only needed pain relief once. I have taken bucket loads of anti-nauseant medication though, which is to be expected. With all the medication I have had only 1 day of bad nausea where I felt as though I had a few too many cocktails the night before, unfortunately for me not a cocktail in sight.  I have also started to get as sore throat and some aches in my ears but I had that last time and I am on the mandatory anti-biotics so hopefully I don't end up neutropenic and in hospital like last time but I am confident I won't.

I am also doing a very in depth journal through this chemo cycle. I am documenting everything I do, eat, every nap, and side effect. I am hoping that the chemo effect diary will help me know what side effects to expect and when and also what I did to ease the side effects, what helped and what didn't. I am also finding it therapeutic to have an outlet to jot everything down.

So that's where I am at now, thank you for following along. I can assure everyone I am ok, and I will get through this. Thank you for the support, I really appreciate everyone being there for me and checking to see how I am doing.

Oh and before I forget:

Happy New Year!!!

My proud as punch moment: I had chemo on New Years Eve and I actually managed to go out to dinner with my Family, take the kids out for ice cream and fireworks and I stayed up for my midnight kiss! Is that amazing or what! I cannot believe I did it! I never knew I had it in me! So much for my preconceived notion of what a chemo patient was like!

I wish you all a Happy New Year, with many blessings!

Happy Holidays Everyone

Well I had a fantastic Christmas, well as good can be expected for being in the tropics. I miss snow...I really was dreaming of a white Christmas! I was supposed to be back home in the snow for Christmas but cancer stopped my plans. Oh well maybe next year, Christmas on Australia truly doesn't get the spirit going, I need snow and a fire and hot chocolate.

So as I was saying Christmas was woderful and the kids, my husband and I really did get spoiled. The kids had a ball and were showered in gifts, we had food galore and it was a great day overall. I even got a cuisinart icecream maker, woohoo. I just made some low fat vanilla frozen yogurt and it is amazing!

I have gone 9 days without hair since I shaved it the night I wrote the "hair today gone tomorrow" post. I never lasted until tomorrow. Everywhere I went I ended up with a hair trail, and it was all over the couch so I just got my husnad to buzz cut it. It was a traumatic experience and it really upset me, the tears were definatly flowing. I was so upset my husband finally asked if I was 'ready' my reply "I will never be ready just get it over with". So he did, and it actually hurt to get it all off as my scalp was beyond sensitive from my hair folicles dying or something, my scalp had been hurting for a week before I shaved it. It even hurt for a week after shaving it.

After I shaved it I really struggled, I felt like a man as I didn't feel pretty at all. I was now bald. It was a really hard concept to grasp, I kept reaching for my hair and it wasn't there. It was really upsetting. The first few days without hair I would only get around in my "Beau Beau' or my wig. Now with constant (pretty much every hour) hot flashes from my zoladex induced menopause while I am at home just with the family I just go bald. To be honest I am not completely bald now, I have some patches of buzz cut hair but its very thin and getting thinner by the day. I don't think it will last much longer than a week. My wig is great for when we go somewhere or when I want to feel like me. The "beau beau" is fantastic for around the house, and out and about on those days I can't be bothered sweating in a wig.

Everything else has been going very well. I got my second zoladex injection a week ago and I am due for my round two of chemo in two days. I am not as nervous as last time because I guess I know what to expect. Its not as scary as I thought it would be and I had no adverse side effects last time so I have to just bite the bullet knowing I will feel like crap for a week or so. I just hope I don't end up in hopsital this time with neutropenia. So New Years Eve is my chemo day I will celebrate next year.

Have a Happy New Year!!! I hope you all have your New Year's resolutions and I wish you all the strength and determination to acheive your goals and have a wonderful New Year filled with happiness.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Not only is Hair Today Gone Tomorrow my motto for today but it was also the name of a fundraiser bbq and raffle done by my friends for me in which we raised just over $1200 and we donated a large portion to Breast Cancer Network Australia to provide Women with "My Journey" packs. J and L did one heck of a job organizing and we had some great donations from local business's for the raffle. J shaved her head along with her husband and her mother as well. It really was a show of support for me and other women with breast cancer and amazed me of the length people will go to be supportive. Thank you J and L, you did a great job and I am so sorry it has taken me so long to write this post.

Tomorrow is my day to do my head shave. My hair is coming out in clumps now. On December 16th it started to come out in noticeable amounts. I am in shock I think and it hasn't fully hit me, I can't believe I am going to be bald. My husband will be giving me the buzz cut. I told him to prepare for one very upset me and a lot of tears. I think it will be me a box of chocolates, Kleenex and solitude for a few hours to process. Then I will be getting 'wiggy with it' until my hair grows back.

So I have an awesome wig, and a great 'Beau Beau'. I ordered it from the United States in Florida and it seems great. I will give it a test run once my hair is gone tomorrow. If you are interested in getting one here is the site. http://www.4women.com/  I think they are fantastic because you don't have to tie the scarf, it comes all pre-sewn so if someone knocks on the door I can throw it on and not worry about asking them to wait while I figure out how to tie the darn thing. I will buy a scarf or two and learn to tie, so I have a few options but I think the wig and the beau beau will be really great as a starting point.  I really want to order the 'art addiction brown' one in silk but they are not cheap (but you get what you pay for) so I will have to wait....one at a time unfortunately.

My husband is being very supportive of me losing my hair. He keeps telling me I will still be beautiful (I am not a believer, I loved my long hair). Although the one thing he tells me is how excited he is for all my new looks, he thinks its awesome I can change wigs and scarfs and 'Beau Beau's', so I guess I will have to indulge in the fact that its not everyday you can change your look so much, and try to have fun with it. I will keep trying to tell myself that tomorrow when I do the shave, which I am scared to do.

Wish me luck everyone, I am one nervous chick!

Hair, Reflux and All Things Christmas

Well Christmas is just around the corner and I am super excited. I cannot wait for Christmas, I feel like a kid again...minus the need to stay up all night waiting for Santa Claus. My Christmas eve will be spent with my lovely husband putting together a swing set from 'Santa' for my boys. I have started my Christmas baking, which is very therapeutic by the way and I intend on finishing today and tomorrow so I can get my gift baskets out of the way. I will take pictures of my gift baskets when I finish, I really hope they turn out as well as I want them to.

One person who is on the top of my gift basket list is B, she did a photo shoot with me on Monday. I am so excited to see all the photographs as the sneak peek was fabulous! I got a haircut and when I mean haircut I mean HAIRCUT. I got about 12 inches cut off to make the hair falling out process a little less traumatic. They assure me my hair will be falling out by the handful by December 20th so needless to say I am nervous, yikes! I have a cute little pixie cut now and feel a little like a 10 year old boy but everyone assures me it looks good. My verdict, I LOVE my long hair and intend on growing it all back just as long but this time I will have bangs, I honestly think they suit me.  If I get brave maybe I will post some haircut pics if anyone is interested.

Now as for the reflux I think it will be the death of me. I have been up since 4am and I cannot lay down it is agony. I am taking omeprazol, mylanta and quick eze and I am not sensing an ounce of relief. I have an appointment with my oncologist December 22nd. I can't wait that long so I sent a text to my breast care nurse. I hope she gets back to me quickly and I can just go pick up some better, more effective medication. If I do find a really good reflux medication for the stomach that has been torn apart from chemo I will post it because I think it will be worth its weight in gold if I can find one that's effective. I am sure other people on chemo have this issue as well.

Today I intend on sending Christmas Cards, finishing Christmas shopping and getting the kids photo with Santa. Wish me luck it could be a big day! I hope everyone is enjoying the festive season this year!

Speedy Update!

Just a quick update from me :)

I got a fever and got stuck in hospital for the last 5 days for neutropenia. My nuetrophils were 0.2 so well below the required chemo level of 1.5. This means they dilute my next chemo by 20% and delay it by 5 days which means....I won't be sick for Xmas woohoo!!!!!
I hope to escape hospital tomorrow but they are saying Monday. I have been on iv ab's for the last 5 days so hopefully that's enough.. My levels are slowly creeping up so fingers crossed they are high enough tomorrow.

Have a great weekend everyone! I will do a proper post soon! I am very eager to get home and start my Christmas baking and get into the Christmas spirit :)