Let the Games Begin

Well tomorrow is the big day, surgery. This marks the beginning of my treatment to 'vanquish cancer' from my body, life and soul so I can get on with my life. As of tomorrow I will be cancer free providing it hasn't spread, which is my biggest prayer. Feel free to pray with me, I can use all the help I can get.

I am using the art of distraction to keep myself occupied and my mind off of everything. In addition to that since I am a panicker I get to take a valium tomorrow prior to my sentinal node dye injections, thank god as I am NOT a needle person. The injections are done in nuclear medicine as they are radioactive apparently. The inject the dye into several places in my breast and then wait 45-60 min and then take some x-ray type pictures so they know how much and where to cut and which lymph nides to biopsy. The dye seeks out the first lymph node the cancer would spread to if it has indeed spread so they can remove it and biopsy it. Obviously my hope and prayer is that this node and the ones they remove with it are cancer free so I dont need any additional surgery and can get on with treatment and get on with life as a breast cancer survivor.

So my key distractions techniques are crocheting, painting, The Sims 3, Take 5 puzzle books, and some reading. The funny thing is I haven't been able to read any books that aren't breast cancer research so far, so much for distraction. Everytime I get bored of one activity I switch which has really been helping and when I can't be bothered indulging my creative side, I play with my gorgeous boys or I nap.  I also feel like like I have spent half of my life on the phone lately, but its great to be able to chat to family and friends.

I am feeling pretty good about everything today, albeit I am very nervous about surgery tomorrow. I think firday was my worst day so far. They told me I have a grade 3 tumour which made me panick and I was sure I was going to die. I then found out that its very very common for pre-menopausal women to have grade 3 tumours becuase of the excess hormones which typically breast tumours feed off of and that it is most definately not a death sentance its very fixable especially if it hasnt spread. The grade is not the stage, the stage will be determined after surgery, when they see if there is nodal involvement or spreading. I am hoping for grade 2 (the grades go from 1-4), grade 2 has pretty much a 88% sucess rate. The stage is just  how much the cancer has affected the cells, and my cancer is invasive and aggressive as it has changed the cells at a rapid rate. I am confident everything will be ok, for today anyways. I will always have bad days where I feel insecure, and scared but I just remind myself I have too many people on my side that nothing can go wrong. I have beat the odds on many occasions so I can beat them again.

I love the quote from a family e-mail "You are a very determined girl and have proven that time and time again. You can beat this" It made me feel great because its nice to know people believe in me. Thank you!