Pain, what pain?

Well surgery is not quite a distant memory but I am glad its over. One day at a time everyone says, and just keep moving forward. Hopefully things are going to move along at a quick pace so I can just beat this and get it over with. I also have some very good news, I saw my surgeon immediately before surgery on Monday and he told me I had clear CT scan, and since my bone scan was clear it means NO SPREAD, zero. I wish I could put a video on here of me doing a happy dance because trust me, that's what I felt like. I feel so much better about my odds knowing the cancer has not spread.

As for surgery I think it went quite well. The title of this post well seriously there is no pain, they severed a nerve so I have no feeling where they cut me. Its a bit funny actually I can poke away and cant feel my arm from my armpit to my elbow. The pain I do get however is a bit agonizing, its just shocks of sharp nerve pain down my arm which is apparently just the nerves healing but ouch! I am supposed to do exercises with my arm but the nerve pinching searing pain is a bit much so I am not doing all of them regularly. I am hoping I have better range of motion and less nerve pain in the next few days so I can do my physio exercises religiously so I can limit my lympodema risk thats the big factor for me. So I am taking pain killers to limit the nerve pain but it is kind of nice to not feel the incision. I am trying my hand at positive thinking, it works a bit. I cannot dwell on every bad thing or I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning.'

I also want to update that I start my fertility injections soon and I am a bit nervous to turn into a crazy woman on all the hormones, my poor poor husband. He is tough though, he can deal with it. So one more dose of anesthetic and I am hopefully finished, I will keep my fingers crossed. I am also so over hospitals I am so eager for this to all be over.

I am also thinking of doing up a list of all the things really helping me through this whole road to recovery and I endeavour to start tomorrow. I would like to do some coping strategies and different techniques, maybe even test out some different alternative therapies to assist with the effects of chemotherapy. I guess I really want to make my mark and possibly help another woman in my shoes. I know its a long shot that this may reach people but I like to think I have the ability to make someones day a little easier by sharing my journey. Who knows maybe one day I will write a book, lol.  Thanks everyone for your fantastic support and thanks Amy for following religiously, it makes my day that you read and stand by me from afar :)

I am thinking of you all, sometimes I feel like its harder for those watching me go through this than it is for me. My heart goes out to my husband who has made more sacrifices than I would care to ask him. I am just thankful my boys are very young and can't grasp the 'cancer' concept yet, although my eldest does try to 'kiss me better' and asks why I am sick when I don't look like it, little darling. Goodnight everyone.