My biological clock is pressuring me because I really want another baby but then I was diagnosed with DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma in Situ) and that really put a spanner in the works. I feel like I have lost control of my body and I don't 'feel' sick. Its insane I have to undergo treatment and ask permission when I can have another baby and get the 'ok' from my oncologist a few years down the track.
Ok so what are the options? Well I can 'wait and see', use ovarian supression or IVF. I will give a breakdown of my options.
Wait and See
I can undergo chemotherapy and 'wait and see' whether or not the chemotherapy has either thrown me into full early menopause or if I get my menstrual cycles back. The alternative outcome is that I am fertile but my eggs are disfigured and unable to be fertilized. This method doesn't sit well with me to be honest. I do have 80% chance of manintaining my fertility post chemotharapy but is that good enough odds? I am only 25 this should not be a consideration to have my ability to bear children taken away from me, I truly feel robbed.
Ovarian Suppression (Such as Zoladex)
Ovarian suppression is currently in clinical trial in many western countries and I have sent out a few e-mails to the relevant places to see if I qualify for the trial. I also plan to ask my oncologist to refer me for trial as well. Basically ovarian suppression, suppresses the ovaries from producing eggs in an effort to save the eggs and ovaries from damage during chemotherapy. It has not been widely tested to be difinative in assisting maintaing fertiliy but I think it may be worth a shot. I have my fingers crossed for this one.
IVF
I had my appointment with the IVF fertility specialist today and she raised some really great pro's and cons for me. I wont go into the process of IVF but how it pertains to me. IVF is my best shot at safegaurding my chance at having another baby. The problem however is overstimulating my ovaries (very dangerous especially at my age) and another problem is blood clot risk (which is already increased by having cancer and especially dangerous as blood thinners and chemo don't mix). The biggest problem is the fertility drugs they give me to stimulate my ovaries to provide excess eggs (10-12) . These hormones actulally encourage my cancer to spread and grow which is a huge risk. If I decide to forgo the risks and go through IVF I would have to start this cycle which is very risky and I only have days to decide.
So those are my main options, I feel as though I am praying for the trial for ovarian suppression because it doesn't delay my cancer treatment and it doesn't encourage my cancer to grow and spread posing a bigger danger to my life. I would love nothing more than to say the hell with it, get IVF and guarentee my chances but I have two little boys to consider and I think any extra chance at staying alive for my two gorgeous little men is worth the risk of becoming infertile no matter how much it pains me to say this. I want a baby more than anything but I want to watch my little boys grow up more and if I can have another baby and watch all my kids grow up I have hit the jackpot and quite frankly I have been hit with enough bad news so surely I can keep my fertility and have some good news in the end.
I will talk to my oncologist on wednesday and determine his opinion on my options and see if I am eligible for a clinical trial. Also if any of you readers has any input, advice or have tried any treatments please feel free to share by commenting or e-mailing me at pinkribbonmary@gmail.com
I have my bone scan tomorrow so wish me luck for no mets in my bones!!!
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